Desires

Lately I've been overcome with feelings of desire for both leaving this town and doing something creative.

Luckily when I feel this way it forces me back into photography or writing or music or something or other and then I'm good at it for a while then I stop.. ah the wonderment of life's cycles eh?

I'm at work and one of my favorite Radiohead songs ('Lucky') came on Pandora.com so now I am taking it as a sign that this is a good idea and I will be more creative. Huzzah.

It's been too long since I wrote a journal/blog/thingie so I'm sorry my writing is so sporatic.

I have a goal of losing 30 lbs.. I've lost 5 so far (started in May) and my body is a totally different shape (I got a trainer, changed my diet, and now am going to the gym at least 3x a week).. and my reward will be a drastic new haircut (it's been a while.. I believe I just passed my 'annual marker' (see previous entries)). In the words of Billy's boss (who I haven't seen since April) I am now "buff". Last night I got the pleasure of seeing someone else I haven't seen for about.. 4 months I think.. and by his expression I think it was obvious that I look much.. healthier. Pretty neat to feel 'hot' again!

I am going to improv tonight (for the first time in..... 3 months?)so this will be the first time since joining the gym that pictures of me may become available. I will see about posting one. Maybe. We'll see.

K feeling abated for now must get back to thrilling accounting!

Here's a special treat: a picture or two I took when I took Billy and his brother Chris to the Monterey Bay Aquarium for the weekend (the trip is what I spent my rebate on):



By the way keep checking out my deviantart page.. I've sort of been kind of updating it.. http://marikasprettyart.deviantart.com/

Snickerdoodles (NOT Gluten Free)

This is the first time I've ever baked Snickerdoodles and not have them be gluten free.

I have made snickerdoodles many times through my adolescence and high school, whether with my friend Lily, my mom, and/or by myself. Every time they were gluten free.

Gluten free snickerdoodles seem to usually be fluffier and frankly, I think they are more tasty than the conventional ones shown here.. not to say these weren't very tasty (a batch of 30 disappeared in one night)!

Recipe (courtesy of American Test Kitchen's 'Bakers Illustrated' cookbook, page 430):

2 1/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons cream of tartar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened yet still cool
1/4 cup vegetable shortening
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar + 3 tablespoons for rolling dough
2 large eggs
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon for rolling dough

1. Adjust the oven rack to the upper- and lower-middle positions & heat the oven to 400 degrees. Line 2 large baking sheets with parchment paper or spray them with nonstick cooking spray.

2. Whisk the flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, and salt together in a medium bowl and set aside.

3. Either by hand or with an electric mixer, cream the butter, shortening, and the 1 1/2 cup sugar at medium speed until combined, 1 - 1 1/2 minutes. Scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula. Add the eggs. Beat until combined, about 30 seconds.

4. Add the dry ingredients & beat at a low speed until just combined, about 20 seconds.

5. Mix the 3 tablespoons sugar for rolling & the cinnamon in a shallow bowl. Working with a heaping tablespoon of dough each time, roll the dough into 1 1/2" balls. Roll the balls in the cinnamon sugar & place them on the prepared baking sheets, spacing them about 2" apart.

Bake until the edges of the cookies are beginning to set & the centers are soft and puffy, 9 - 11 minutes, rotating the baking sheets front to back & top to bottom halfway through the baking time. Let the cookies cool on the baking sheets 2 - 3 minutes before transferring them with a wide metal spatula to a wire rack.

Thick and Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies

These suckers turned out gigantic (4" long!) but soo soo good. As it turns out the recipe claims it yields 18 cookies and I just made 11 (and had to cook for slightly longer than usual - usually my oven's too hot so that's really an extra maybe... 8 minutes for a regular, correctly calibrated oven).

A very quick batch with just over an hour from measuring out ingredients to eating the cookie. I definitely wish I had some milk.

Baker's Illustrated - pg. 434

2 cups + 2 tablespoons unbleached all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted and cooled until warm
1 cup packed light or dark brown sugar (I used light - I wonder if dark would give it a less vanilla-y taste and more of a molasses-y taste..?)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg + 1 egg yolk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 - 1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips (I used the minimum one cup and every bite was just on this side of almost too much chocolate (in other words, a perfect amount each bite) as the cookie itself was also very rich (thanks to the butter content)... however I'm not a huge chocolate lover)

1. Adjust oven racks to upper- & lower-middle positions & heat oven to 325 degrees. Line 2 large baking sheets with parchment paper or spray them with nonstick cooking spray.

2. Whisk the flour, baking soda, & salt together in a medium bowl, set aside.

3. Either by hand or with an electronic mixer (I used the mixer with the regular non-whisk attachments), mix the butter & sugars until thoroughly blended. Beat in the egg, yolk, and vanilla until combined. Add the dry ingredients & beat & low speed just until combined. Stir in the chips to taste.

4. Roll a scant 1/4 cup of the dough into a ball (my guess is you're supposed to estimate it - I went ahead and used a 1/4 cup dry measuring cup to scoop the dough then went from there and, as I said earlier, I ended up with 7 less cookies than the recipe claimed to yield - but they were indeed humongous). Hold the dough ball with the fingertips of both hands and pull into 2 equal halves. Rotate the halves 90 degrees and, with jagged surfaces facing up, join the halves together at their base, again forming a single ball, being careful not to smooth the dough's uneven surface. Place the formed dough balls on the prepared baking sheets, jagged surface up, spacing them 2 1/2" apart.

5. Bake until the cookies are light golden brown & the outer edges start to harden yet the centers are still soft & puffy, 15 - 18 minutes (I had to fight my "it's undercooked!" instincts here. The best way to judge is when the edges are no longer soft enough to push in with your finger and there is a light golden color.. the centers will seem undercooked but they will get slightly firmer as they cool.. each chef is their own judge however.), rotating the baking sheets front to back and top to bottom 1/2 way through the baking time. Cool the cookies on the sheets. Remove the cooled cookies from the baking sheets with a wide metal spatula. (I only covered the baking pans with parchment paper and did not spray. After maybe 10 seconds of cooling the cookies were able to be picked up by hand (and eaten :P ) from the sheet.)

As you can see above they turned out super great and one cookie is more than enough but it sure is hard to fight the urge to eat more.

Have a great rest of the week and weekend!

Ultimate Crumb Cake

This deliciousness in crumb cake form's recipe is from Cook's Illustrated Magazine.

They did a new thing by making the crumbs a different recipe than the actual cake.

The results was a large near 50:50 of cake to crumb.. which is reminiscent of the old-style crumb cake you can only really find in New York.

The crumbs are ... crumblike (strangely enough) and have more butter than the cake. They are slightly dense, the dough to make them was cohesive and tough, so it broke easily.

The cake is a extremely light, fluffy variety. Very mild flavor, as all the flavor was saved for the crumbs on top.

This is usually served with a sprinkling of powdered sugar.. and in my 'taste-test' I did indeed serve it that way. The picture has no sugar as I'll be serving it tonight around 8pm .. the sugar would probably dissolve if I were to sprinkle it right away.

This cake is a little heavy (as a crumb cake should be) and is
perfectly washed down with coffee.

Note: I doubled the recipe and baked for about 45 minutes in a 13x9 baking dish. Ingredients listed are NOT DOUBLED.

Crumb Topping:
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/3 dark brown sugar
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon salt
8 Tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted & still warm
1 3/4 cups cake flour

Cake:
1 1/4 cup cake flour
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
6 Tablespoons (3/4 stick) unsalted butter, cut into 6 pieces, softened but still cool
1 large egg + 1 large yolk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/3 cup buttermilk
Confectioner's Sugar for dusting (optional)

1. FOR THE TOPPING: Whisk sugars, cinnamon, salt, and butter in medium bowl to combine. Add flour & stir with rubber spatula or wooden spoon until mixture resembles thick, cohesive dough; set aside to cool to room temp; 10 - 15 minutes.

2. FOR THE CAKE: Adjust oven rack to upper-middle position & heat oven to 325 degrees. Cut 16" length aluminum foil & fold lengthwise to 7" width. Spray 8" square baking dish with nonstick cooking spray & fit foil into dish, pushing it into corners & up sides; allow excess to overhang edges of dish.

3. In a medium/large bowl mix flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt on low speed of hand mixer to combine. With mixer running at low speed, add butter one piece at a time; continue beating until mixture resembles moist crumbs with no visible butter chunks remaining, 1 - 2 minutes. Add egg, yolk, vanilla, and buttermilk; beat on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about one minute, scraping if necessary.

4. Transfer batter to baking pan; using rubber spatula, spread batter into even layer. Break apart crumb topping into large pea-sized pieces & spread in even layer over batter, beginning with edges then working towards center (so center doesn't get too heavy). (MvE Notes: I broke up crumb-dough in separate bowl before spreading on batter.) Bake until crumbs are golden & wooden skewer inserted into center of cake comes out clean. Cool on wire rack at least 30 minutes. Remove cake from pan by lifting foil overhang. Dust with confectioners' sugar just before serving.

MvE note: Keeps very well refrigerated (for up to ?? - my cakes have never lasted longer than overnight!)

DELICIOUS to wash down with hot coffee - a bit heavy by itself (as crumb cakes are traditionally made).

Light Cinnamon Rolls

Had to do this one in 2 attempts - didn't quite get the hang of kneading and rolling the raw dough until the 2nd (was too sticky and hard to handle in first due to work surface not floured enough).

Wonderful things here, only 3 tablespoons of butter, 4.5 grams of fat each and totally eggless! Karen requested them for Christmas morning.

Took 3 hours my first attempt, 1.5 hours my second. I'm tempted to wake up early one day and surprise Billy with them.

Buttermilk icing a simple addition but heavenly. After reaching room temperature it makes all the difference to microwave them for 10 seconds before eating.

'The Best of America's Test Kitchen 2007' pg. 94

FILLING
1/3 cup packed dark brown sugar
1/3 cup granulated sugar
2 tspns ground cinnamon
1/8 tspns ground cloves
1/8 tspns salt

DOUGH
2 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour, plus extra for dusting
2 Tbspns granulated sugar
1 1/4 tspns baking powder
1/2 tspn baking soda
1/2 tspn salt
1 1/4 cups buttermilk
3 Tbspns unsalted butter, melted & cooled

ICING
2 Tbspns light cream cheese, at room temperature
2 Tbspns buttermilk
3/4 cup confections' sugar

1. Adjust an oven rack to the upper-middle position & heat the oven to 425. Spray an 8" square baking pan & wire rack with vegetable oil spray & set aside.

2. FOR THE FILLING: Mix all the ingredients together & set aside.

3. FOR THE DOUGH: Whisk the flour, granulated sugar, baking powder, baking soda, & salt together in a large bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk the buttermilk & 2 Tbspns of melted butter together. Stir the buttermilk mixture into the flour mixture w/a wooden spoon until liquid is absorbed (the dough will look very shaggy), about 30 seconds. Transfer the dough to a floured work surface & knead until just smooth & no longer shaggy, about 30 second.

4. Pat the dough w/hands into a 12x9" rectangle. Brush dough w/remaining Tbspn of melted butter. Sprinkle evenly w/filling, leaving a 1/2" border of plain dough around the edges. Press the filling firmly into the dough. Using a bench scraper or metal spatula, loosen the dough from the work surface. Starting at the long side, roll the dough, pressing lightly, to form a tight log. Pinch the seam to seal. Roll the log seam-side down & cut into 3 even pieces, then cut each of those into 3 equal pieces resulting in 9 even pieces, with dental floss. With your hand, slightly flatten each piece of dough to seal the open edges & keep the filling in place.

5. Arrange the rolls in the prepared baking pan (3 rows of 3 rolls). Cover the pan w/foil and bake for about 12 minutes. Remove the foil & bake until edges of the rolls are golden brown, 12 - 14 minutes longer.

6. Use an offset metal spatula to loosen the rolls from the pan. Wearing oven mitts, place a large plate over the pan & invert the rolls onto the plate. Place the greased wire rack over the plate & flip the rolls onto the rack. Let the rolls cool for 5 mins before icing.

7. TO ICE THE ROLLS: While rolls are cooling, line a rimmed baking sheet w/parchment paper (for easy cleanup). Set the rack of cooling rolls over the baking sheet. Whisk the cream cheese & buttermilk together in a large nonreactive bowl until thick & smooth (the mixture will look like cottage cheese at first). Sift the confectioners' sugar over the mixture & whisk until a smooth icing forms, about 30 seconds. Spoon the icing evenly over the rolls & serve.

WHERE THINGS CAN GO WRONG: Make sure that you knead the dough just 30 seconds or the rolls will be tough. Also, when shaping the rolls, don't be afraid to use a little extra flour on the work surface if the dough seems a little sticky.

Mystery Cake

I have been baking a lot lately, and I love it. If I weren't already an accountant, I would be a pastry chef. Perhaps after my accounting endeavor is over I will open my own bakery.

Perhaps later I will write a cookbook until now, Mystery Cake! (Joy of Cooking pg. 721)
(Eggless and milkless)

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Grease 9x9" square baking pan.
3. Whisk together thoroughly in a medium bowl:

2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon salt

4. Beat in a large bowl at high speed until light and fluffy:

1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter
1 cup sugar

5. On low speed, beat in the flour mixture in 3 parts, alternating with:

One 10 3/4 oz can condensed cream of tomato soup

in two parts, beating until smooth.

6. Fold in:

1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans (I used pecans)
1 cup raisins

7. Scrape the batter into the prepared pan, smoothing the top with a rubber spatula.
Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, about 45 minutes.
Let the cake cool in the pan on a rack.

8. Dust with confectioners sugar.


An interesting cake, tasting reminiscent of fruit cake.

I didn't like it at first (batter tasted very strange), however after the cake cooled to room temperature, the confectioner's sugar and raisins brought out the sweetness of the tomato (used in the cake as a leavener instead of the usual milk or eggs).

A good alternative if you're allergic to eggs.

The family described it as "Like pumpkin cake without the pumpkin, like carrot cake without the carrot." before I told them the 'secret ingredient'.

New High School and Skydiving

So I had my 'Sociology 101' class tonight. I'm working towards my accounting degree and eventual CPA certificate to not only further my career, but hey, I'll take a class for any reason I just love learning and being educamated.

This has been my very first "collegy" type of class. My other classes (Symphony, Drawing, even Accounting 101) have all fallen on Saturdays and/or evenings so the general mix is usually older people or the rebellious crowd where I'm more or less comfortable.

Sociology is a requirement at the local city college for your General Education which you need for any degree and most classes are transferable to Universities. Therefore, the general mix is regular college students or working moms. Mostly college kids however.

Now, if it isn't painfully obvious, I do not consider myself a part of the general "college kid" stereotype. My parents never forced me to take college, advised me to get a degree, but there was never an assumption that I would get one. In fact, I waited 2 years after graduating high school to start taking 'educational' classes.

There's also the fact that I have been supporting myself since I was 18. I've gotten very successful, especially for someone my age. I'm an accountant at a very well known local CPA Firm. I make a little more than a teacher's regular income with barely any education after high school and at 21 years old. I bought myself a new car without any help (except for the presence of my boyfriend at the dealership so I could keep my head). I consider myself well off financially and, if I chose, would be able to live by myself and support myself, even in Santa Barbara.

That being said.

As was previously stated this is my first "collegy" class. This is my first time since high school where I have been placed in a room with my "peers". Now, this is Santa Barbara, California. Not only are the girls ditsy and confuse 'sexy' with 'desirable', but their parents are putting them through college and "forcing" them to get a degree before they have access to their trust funds. Not only are the guys "cool white rappers" or "Dude I was totally wasted last night" potheads.. but they, too, are being forced by their parents to earn 18 credits of city college before their parents give them access to their trust funds.

People, my "peers" depress me. I feel singled out, alone, defensive. When I feel that way I become aloof. I pretend I am above everyone (ok half pretend, most of the time I feel that way anyhow). I feel I have to compensate for everyone else's shortcomings and be the best because it would be appalling to be confused for one of them.

Unfair? Absolutely. Incorrect? Not so sure.

At any rate it depresses and exhausts me.

Now, after 3 hours of hell, watching the girl next to me alternately flip her hair while staring at her pencil and nodding vigorously at the wrong points in the professors lecture, listening to the guys brag about how drunk they got last night, the slut they were with, saying "dude" every 5 seconds... I felt a little depressed and a little exhausted.

Not to mention the fact that my mentor left work today. I mean that after 8 years (2 of which I worked with him), this morning the boss says "Today is Josh's last day. He will be leaving in an hour. Let's wish him luck!". Josh has held me together during the worst tax season ever and has given me sage advice and gave me someone to genuinely look up to. All of a sudden he's gone forever? It's like mourning, this feeling I'm feeling.

OK so I get home after class. I realize I didn't pick something out of the mailbox, it's a dvd from my mom. From her skydiving lesson a couple weeks ago. I watch it and I can't stop crying. I've never seen her so happy and seeing her happy and be so at home in the sky made me feel safe and like I've never missed anyone in my life as much as her and my family at that moment.

This is going to be a long semester.