Monday, August 01, 2011

Santa Barbara

I'm at a stage in my life where all the relationships I'm in have never been better. My circles of friends, famil(ies) and even work colleagues are full of trustworthy, honest, intelligent, interesting, and caring people, and I couldn't be luckier in that regard. I've been walking my dog an hour after work every day around Santa Barbara in the beautiful weather and scenary.

The more I see every day, the more I hate what I see. People not from around here tend to be genuinely bewildered when I tell them I hate it. The question has bothered me for years: What exactly do I hate about Santa Barbara? I think I have finally boiled it down to one simple reason: I can't relate.

When they mention the weather, I am reminded of a new hero of mine Bill Hicks when he rants about L.A. weather, "Who needs sunshine every god damn day? We're not f**king lizards. Our bodies are able to cope if the sun goes away." Not to mention, the lack of weather means the buildings and roads are not designed to withstand any type of unexpected heat or cold or wet, which means the people generally freak the f**k out if anything happens like, a rain cloud.

When they mention the Spanish architecture and Missions I am reminded of the actual story of when the Spaniards came over to this country and ravaged the Native American people and soil. Forcing them to give up their established religion in favor of Christianity. Forcing them into slavery to construct the missions on top of and out of their own dead. Not to mention taking their land and raping their women. Yeah Spanish architecture and the Missions rock.

When they mention "there is so much to do!" I am reminded of how I grew up fairly poor. What can you do if you can't go shopping or go to a show or a movie? What can you do if you don't like the beach or hiking? Go to the zoo 9 million times? What about when the sun goes down? Even after I got to the age of 21 I never liked to go out drinking. Once you've "seen the sights" this town is pretty vacant.

When they mention the people I am reminded of L.A. run-off. People who looove L.A. and either don't live there or are vacationing in Santa Barbara. Shallow, self-absorbed, unaware of their own surroundings, I guess pretty to look at (if you like cookie-cutters) but if you start conversing you might experience physical pain through vapidness. Not to mention the "vibrant" college students from the other side. Finally free of their mommy and daddys grip (but not necessarily their coin) I feel surrounded by young, dangerous idiots without limits.

When they mention the town parties (let's take Fiesta for example, since it's coming up). I'm reminded of how shallow the town is. Everyone I've talked to had no idea what it was, whether it was a Mexican holiday or a Spanish (as in Spain) holiday... the result is a mishmash of costumes and relics; mariachi music and spanish dancers, sombreros and spanish skirts. The story behind Fiesta is 20 years ago a local movie theatre thought it would be fun to through a town party. That's it! So people come, have a parade, get drunk in public, almost always someone gets hurt and they show it on the news, throw confetti eggs at each other, and leave behind a huge mess. This goes on for 3 days by the way.

When they mention how safe it is I am reminded of the piss poor system of dealing with the homeless and unfriendly sides of town. How many school shootings we've had that get absolutely NO press because we can't "hurt the town's image or people won't want to visit". I'm also reminded of the time that I was working at a temp agency and my agent called me to tell me not to come, since they found a dead body outside the building. On State St. I'm also reminded of how kitty corner across the street from the in-law's business (then home/business) there was a guy who was stabbed 4 times in a parking lot. Not to mention the several times I've been followed when walking on my own and the gang violence. Safe my ass.

I can barely afford to live here (yeah our 900 sq ft apartment = $1725/month and that is a steal in Santa Barbara for some f'd up reason) and I can't escape. I'm ashamed of my apartment's size and how run down it is (it is 50 years old and in desperate need of a remodel) and I don't look forward to going home every night. We have a plan to only stay here for one more year but I can't sleep at night for thinking of how trapped I feel and how much I want to leave.

The town is beautiful but shallow and vapid. I have as much respect for it as I do for people of the same nature.