In Which I Rant

I never really expected to become this sort of person, but I'm getting a bit angry so I'm allowing myself to vent.

No matter how well I feel that the human species is evolving, I am still seeing more and more examples of the continued prevalence of inherent sexism in many constant things; the English language, popular religions, media of all types. The biggest issue seems to be: men are considered the 'default' human, as it were. Similar to most white peoples' mistake (it was mine as well, formerly thank goodness) of considering white to be 'raceless' while every other race builds on the raceless template. It limits understanding and is 99% of the time subconscious.

The English language is fairly obvious in this assumption; masculine pronouns are simply more common than feminine and not only shape our biases towards something, it is nearly always subconscious. Male words are often short in syllables and conjure up images and feelings of strength (it's most obvious in names like Jack, Max, etc.) while female words are associated with soft and delicate (Jessica, Madison, anything ending in -ey). I'm making generalizations because I'm not a scientist, but the point is that the way think of men being the default is obvious even in our choice of words and language. Changing them to things like "herstory" is never going to work.

I read an article a long time ago, describing the dynamics of a couple in a relationship. When one person is in the dominant role, they are comfortable. They won't understand why the other person gets upset that they leave the toilet seat a certain way or the cap off the toothpaste, because they are in power it means they chose to do so; how can the other person be so upset about some mundane decision? Because the other person had no choice but to deal with the decision of the first person. This way of thinking applies to men: they don't understand these silly feminists bickering about terminology like "herstory" when it has the significance of leaving the cap off the toothpaste, but feminists are legitimately angry because they are dealing with a decision made hundreds of years ago that gives the assumption that men are supposed to be in power.

I also read an argument online (earlier today, in fact) about letting women in the military. People on both sides and in all different positions (in the military and not) were giving very well thought out, completely "justified" examples of why women just should not be soldiers. I put justified in quotes there because it was completely justified, but only in their own minds. One solid example is that women tend to have hips, which cause them to be unable to deadlift over 140lbs. Ever. All women. Any shape, size, stubborn-ness, etc. are all lumped together and were decided that they cannot ever deadlift over 140lbs by some guy, who everyone else decided to agree with. One woman was staunchly arguing against this point, claiming she did crossfit, martial arts, and other forms of exercise and could lift 145lbs. People were brutal in their defense of their made-up facts, despite the fact that her profile picture indeed had her wearing a crossfit shirt. Do you see the danger here? One of the guys arguing claimed to have been in the Marines and, since he never saw any woman lift over 140lbs, declared it impossible; the hips just wouldn't let women lift more than 140lbs ever. The crossfit woman must be lying to "prove a point." Don't even get me started in that direction. Clearly, in this venue, the men's argument is revealed to be total bullshit. However, in the forum it was in, it was at least 20 guys arguing with one woman. Only the woman had legitimate proof that she could, even as a woman, lift over 140lbs, despite her hip disability, but she was outvoted because of the assumption that men are supposed to be in power, therefore right.

I'm not even touching media, which is so vast in its wrongness that I don't have the energy to touch the rant.

I never thought of myself as a 'radical feminist' or even a feminist until a year ago. No big event happened, I just decided to say something every time I noticed something, that's all. Just that little change has made me see these base assumptions everywhere I look. It's easy to say "I want equality" but what does that mean? I thought it meant women = men, but that's not true is it.. can it ever be? People will always argue women are physically different than men, because they are right. Hell, medicine is JUST NOW realizing that "hey, women react differently to medication designed for men.. huh" one example is heart attacks. Women typically don't get the whole arm tingly, tight chest, etc that every single person can recognize as a heart attack. Usually they get flu-like symptoms and a 'sense of impending doom.' Sometimes they just get the sense of doom, not the flu.. but it results in 80% heart damage. So no, women are not the same as men and therefore and not equal in terminology. However, levels of respect should absolutely be equal. Guess what, when I'm on my period (or in unfamiliar surroundings or in stress, imagine that) my intuition and levels of empathy go through the roof. My favorite example, because it totally won my husband over to its level of reality, is as follows:

My husband Billy and I were in Japan, visiting my brother, Mike. Mike had to go to work, Billy wanted to explore, but I didn't... it's not that I didn't want to as such, but I didn't think we should. Just had a feeling. Billy talked me into it enough that we started walking to the train station. We were feet away from buying our ticket when I started to get a very deep feeling that we shouldn't go. Billy got upset because I had no reason to back it up, other than some vague feeling that wasn't based in rooted fact that he could understand. I eventually talked him into it and, very begrudgingly, we started walking back to Mike's house. Halfway there, Mike pulls up along side us in his car; he had gotten the day off in order to be able to hang out with us. If we had gone exploring, we would never have run into him, and (later we found out) we were about to buy tickets to the wrong place and would have gotten very lost.

The point is, I'm not the only one. Men don't get this every month, but women do and can be 'trained' to recognize the feelings and enhance them. Maybe that should get some level of respect instead of the usual eyeroll and marginalizing cringe of "oh god pms." Not to mention the odd double standard of "women are so delicate they can't handle blood and violence" and the fact that we bleed for a week every month and handle it with dignity (well, women do.. girls not so much. There's a difference). It's the most metal thing I can think of.

Clearly we have a long way to go, but I cannot believe we are still figuring this shit out. I mean, we've been here the whole time too ya know? /endrant

In Which I am Beside Myself

This morning, the first day of 2013, I was awoken at a reasonable time by a text message from a friend informing me of his immediate plans to kill himself. He was currently in an abandoned laundry mat and trying to calculate the quietest and quickest way, and was deciding on an overdose.

My husband and I managed to keep him texting (his preferred method of contact) for an hour but he ended the conversation with "I just got arrested" and then two minutes later "It was nice knowing you. You're the only person I bothered to contact".

I have no idea if getting arrested was a lie or the truth. I've never hoped so much for someone I know to be arrested.. then he would be watched and he wouldn't be alone. I don't know where he is or what he's doing. I don't know if he's alive.

I contacted a member of his family through Facebook, for I had no other choice. Besides that, I am impotent in my abilities for further action. All I can do is stare into space and let the water drip. He's the only friend I've made in this new town and the thought of losing of him is unbearable. I have no words.

*Edit* He is alive and in a better place.

In Which We Sort of Catch Up, Slightly

Well it only took nearly a year and now we are in Boulder, Colorado instead of Santa Barbara. Time to get back to knitting!

There have been quite a few projects since we've last spoken including (but not limited to) a hat that is also a beard:

I have to say I am pretty proud of that one.. that is the first project I've done that required immense amounts of... calibration.. to fit the intended.. subject (yikes my language is changing.. THANKS SCIENCE CLASS).

There has also been several scarves and a fairly lacy little shawl:

Funny enough, I was about a third of the way through that bad boy when I realized that the little 'heart' design was really supposed to emulate the 'buffalo footprint'.. my school's mascot! Go Buffs!

I'm working on a huge gigantic secret project that I can't tell anyone about but I. am. dying. to. Oh well, maybe next year (by then I hope to be finished with it).. I CAN show you a piece of the third chart (written out) though!

See that magnetic ruler thingie where I keep my place? My loving awesome husband got that for me with a set of really awesome knitting bags with sheeps on them. That is why he gets a hat that is also a beard.

Wasn't that fun, catching up a little? Yah me too.

Santa Barbara

I'm at a stage in my life where all the relationships I'm in have never been better. My circles of friends, famil(ies) and even work colleagues are full of trustworthy, honest, intelligent, interesting, and caring people, and I couldn't be luckier in that regard. I've been walking my dog an hour after work every day around Santa Barbara in the beautiful weather and scenary.

The more I see every day, the more I hate what I see. People not from around here tend to be genuinely bewildered when I tell them I hate it. The question has bothered me for years: What exactly do I hate about Santa Barbara? I think I have finally boiled it down to one simple reason: I can't relate.

When they mention the weather, I am reminded of a new hero of mine Bill Hicks when he rants about L.A. weather, "Who needs sunshine every god damn day? We're not f**king lizards. Our bodies are able to cope if the sun goes away." Not to mention, the lack of weather means the buildings and roads are not designed to withstand any type of unexpected heat or cold or wet, which means the people generally freak the f**k out if anything happens like, a rain cloud.

When they mention the Spanish architecture and Missions I am reminded of the actual story of when the Spaniards came over to this country and ravaged the Native American people and soil. Forcing them to give up their established religion in favor of Christianity. Forcing them into slavery to construct the missions on top of and out of their own dead. Not to mention taking their land and raping their women. Yeah Spanish architecture and the Missions rock.

When they mention "there is so much to do!" I am reminded of how I grew up fairly poor. What can you do if you can't go shopping or go to a show or a movie? What can you do if you don't like the beach or hiking? Go to the zoo 9 million times? What about when the sun goes down? Even after I got to the age of 21 I never liked to go out drinking. Once you've "seen the sights" this town is pretty vacant.

When they mention the people I am reminded of L.A. run-off. People who looove L.A. and either don't live there or are vacationing in Santa Barbara. Shallow, self-absorbed, unaware of their own surroundings, I guess pretty to look at (if you like cookie-cutters) but if you start conversing you might experience physical pain through vapidness. Not to mention the "vibrant" college students from the other side. Finally free of their mommy and daddys grip (but not necessarily their coin) I feel surrounded by young, dangerous idiots without limits.

When they mention the town parties (let's take Fiesta for example, since it's coming up). I'm reminded of how shallow the town is. Everyone I've talked to had no idea what it was, whether it was a Mexican holiday or a Spanish (as in Spain) holiday... the result is a mishmash of costumes and relics; mariachi music and spanish dancers, sombreros and spanish skirts. The story behind Fiesta is 20 years ago a local movie theatre thought it would be fun to through a town party. That's it! So people come, have a parade, get drunk in public, almost always someone gets hurt and they show it on the news, throw confetti eggs at each other, and leave behind a huge mess. This goes on for 3 days by the way.

When they mention how safe it is I am reminded of the piss poor system of dealing with the homeless and unfriendly sides of town. How many school shootings we've had that get absolutely NO press because we can't "hurt the town's image or people won't want to visit". I'm also reminded of the time that I was working at a temp agency and my agent called me to tell me not to come, since they found a dead body outside the building. On State St. I'm also reminded of how kitty corner across the street from the in-law's business (then home/business) there was a guy who was stabbed 4 times in a parking lot. Not to mention the several times I've been followed when walking on my own and the gang violence. Safe my ass.

I can barely afford to live here (yeah our 900 sq ft apartment = $1725/month and that is a steal in Santa Barbara for some f'd up reason) and I can't escape. I'm ashamed of my apartment's size and how run down it is (it is 50 years old and in desperate need of a remodel) and I don't look forward to going home every night. We have a plan to only stay here for one more year but I can't sleep at night for thinking of how trapped I feel and how much I want to leave.

The town is beautiful but shallow and vapid. I have as much respect for it as I do for people of the same nature.

Did You Think I Forgot?

No, I haven't forgotten about you. Big things have been underfoot.

1) I graduated with my Associates in Accounting two weeks ago!

Finals were very very crazy and took up just about all of my time. Now that I am done I am definitely doing more knitting. The full effect of graduating hasn't hit me yet... I still feel like I am procrastinating on homework or that I should be studying.

2) Big Trip on Saturday (in 3 days)!

We, my husband, Billy, my brother, Michael, and I, have been planning this trip since last year and Billy and I bought our tickets in February. There is going to be a looooong plane trip and car ride so I am bringing this kit I just bought:

I got it from www.knitpicks.com for $20 -isn't that pretty (that's the stock photo from the website, not me and the bag!)?

There are quite a few new things for me from this bag:

• This is going to be my first experience with intarsia.

• I cast on last night and it was my first time using the crochet hook provisional cast on - so simple! I like it more than the long tail cast on, but it does leave live stitches so I can't use it on everything...

• This is my first nice 'wool' project - no acrylic here! The black bits are 'wool of the andes' and I do have a slight reaction to it with wheezing and a little coughing, but as I was casting on, the more I was around it the less the reaction got = promising. I'm hoping this is a similar vein of someone being allergic to cats but getting used to being around certain ones... The color is a mix of 70% wool, 30% nylon. Both wools are not super fibrous and are very thin, which is why I think I can handle it.

There will be much more interesting posts in the near future. Off I go to finish packing!

P.S. One day I will live in a house that is not downtown and will not hear every word spoken (or much worse, as a recent night has delivered) by my neighbor.

The Kertzer scarf is coming right along. I got the pattern as a free Ravelry download (for you non-knitters, Ravelry is a free website for knitters and crocheters - I may link to it quite a bit). It takes size 8 (5mm) or size 9 (5.5mm) needles. I'm using size 9.

I bought two skeins of the Kertzer yarn so I'm just going to go and go until I run out of yarn. You see where my working yarn is ? That is just about where the first ball ended. Here's some pretty cable detail:

This marks the first of my projects where I haven't used a single stitch marker. Excepting the rows where you "cluster 4" and the cable needle rows, you can pretty much knit the knits and purl the purls (except the garter stitch ends where you knit both sides), so it is very fun and is keeping my interest.

Yoshi thinks it would be better as a dog jacket and is a little put out that it isn't.

Quick Tease

Short post for today. I'm going to try to bake a cake before bed and daylight savings time is a killer! As you may have guessed, I'm working on a new project. Here's something I think we can all enjoy: I don't have to say Red Heart Super Savor Saver yarn!

Wait.. dammit.

The yarn is this beautifulness which is so soft and 100% acrylic (it's not even worsted; it's chunky!):

I wasn't going to say much about the incredible disaster(s) happening in Japan, but as my brother is there right now, and my husband and I have bought tickets to visit in a couple months, it is on my mind a lot and it doesn't feel right to set it aside. Everyone please send positive energy out there. Japan, stay safe.

How to Knit Friday!!!

Congratulations - we all made it to Friday! I'm so proud of us. To take the load off, let me introduce you to How to Knit Friday (subtle title, eh?). Every Friday you and I will work on a little project together. It will be fun! OK I can tell you don't trust me yet... here's Yoshi and my imitation of your face right now:

But really, I will even use a ridiculous looking easy to interpret yarn that YES yes it is Red Heart Super Savor Saver worsted acrylic OK? Sheesh.

Feel free to use any color or yarn you like. You don't even really have to follow along. Even though I catch your expressions some times I can't tell what you do knitting-wise. No pressure. It might be a fun read at least. Lots of pictures.

Since this is our first How to Knit Friday, let's start with the first step (after accumulating materials); casting on. I typically use the long-tail cast on method (which uses, you guessed it, a long tail).

First step: lay a piece of yarn on your leg like so (ok your expression is mimicking Yoshi's, but don't worry the fun will pick up soon):

Loop the yarn over itself, forming a circle on your leg like so:

Take the yarn-end that is the top layer, and place it under the loop so it looks like a pretzel (yum) (in other words, the light pink end on the left of the above picture will be going under the light blue part of the loop):

Time for the needle! See that pink line across the loop? The needle will poke between the line and the edge of the loop:

Lift the needle (careful now, you don't want the pink line on the needle to fall off the needle), and pull both ends until the loop is tight on the needle. Do you know what a synonym for that instance of "loop" is? A stitch! You made a stitch!

Phew! Ok, we can take a break now and pick it up next Friday. This is a pretty picture-intensive post so for all you dial-up guys out there, why do you still have dial-up? That's crazy!

Have a greaaaaat weekend! I'll see you guys on Monday!

Nothin but Knit

As promised, here is the completed diary cover in all its glory:

Pretend there is a book in it. See the linen stitch on the left side of the book cover? That is where the spine goes. Here's an adorable picture of it open:

Isn't that cute? It looks like it is pretending to be a full-fledged grown-up book.

Look at that detail!!

The flaps are curling because they are in stockinette. Once I put it on the book (a tight fit (which is a good thing)) I had to secure it somehow. The pattern calls for a ribbon, which I was ready for (by the way, this photo most accurately represents the real colors of the yarn):

Cute, eh? Depressingly, two things happened. 1) The instructions made zero sense and were obviously an afterthought. 2) It wasn't needed, like, at all. I decided a ribbon that ended up being only decoration was stupid unnecessary, since the knitting is the main attraction and it was hard so I wanted to show it off. I secured the cover to the book like so:

That image is so poor because it's taken with a fancy dancy phone, not a fancy dancy camera, like the other ones.

Simply sewing the thing on there with a needle and an extra piece of yarn = easy! Now nothing distracts from the cover. I so smart.

For those who are wondering, that book is a 8" x 5". I wouldn't recommend the pattern for those who want to put on a book they will write a lot in because of the bumpiness, but it works excellently on the little day planner and it looks very adorable. Kathryn was greatly pleased.

Let's Kick Things Up a Notch, Shall We?

I bet you are as excited about garter stitch and k2p2 ribbing as I am. In other words, smiling politely while thinking about what to Tivo for tomorrow. It's ok. The simple kind of knitting has it's purposes and is perfect for when one feels like a zombie and just wants something to distract one's hands. However there are moments when one feels like learning something (foolish as that may be).

My next project is called a "Vampire Diary Protector" from the ridiculous book with cute things:

Vampire Knits by Genevieve Miller

Ignore the 'Twilight" connotations, please.

Do I even need to say that it was in Red Heart Super Saver worsted acrylic? Do I still need to make that stupid typo and correct "Savor" to "Saver"? I wasn't going to this time, but my accountant way of thinking is going to make me keep answering yes to both questions so that if I want to look at these posts later I can see what kind of yarn I used. Darn me.

I am going to tease you a little bit and reveal how it all looks tomorrow, and only show you how it starts out here:

I know that it is sort of hard to see, so let me give you another chance to soak in the AWESOME:

Not only are those cables, those are DOUBLE HORSESHOE cables. Yes that is linen stitch in between. For you to TOTALLY soak it in I'm going to give you one more glimpse. Here is how the pattern gives a very important and very repeated step (note the whole, rows 14 - 69 thing). Let's follow along:

"Rows 14 - 69: Repeat Row 2 on all even rows and repeat Row 1 on all odd rows EXCEPT Rows 21, 29, 37, 45, 53, 61 and 69, which should be worked as Row 5."

Go ahead and read it again, I'll wait. Reading it again didn't help much, did it? This is how your face looks from here:

Despite all that this pattern is a blast. I feel very rewarded. I have learned a lot, even how to fix dropping cabled stitches along with a half a linen stitch repeat. I am more pleased now than I was at the time, trust me.

Irene's Israeli Beannie

It turns out I like to knit ribbing. Quite a bit. It's perfect on the little circulars while watching movies, having a conversation, even reading a blog or textbook. I think it is due to the fact that it is very obvious when you knitted when you're supposed to purl or vice versa. So obvious, in fact, that I eventually could tell by feel when something went amiss. So I decided to knit my first request; a beannie for my mother-in-law's birthday. Billy saw me knitting it and got a little jealous so I let him try it on for size:

It was a little small so I continued knitting. Here's some detail on that bad boy:

The yarn is, per usual, Red Heart Super Saver worsted acrylic. I loved the colors on it. Here it is finished, waiting for the recipient (she loved it):

I wasn't going to tell you this, but I can tell that you deserve to know a little secret.

There is a mistake on this hat.

A rather big mistake that I didn't see until a point where I couldn't fix it (for all my talk of "feeling" mistakes as they happen). Let me explain.

As you get towards the end, you're on the edge of your seat happily working on scary dpn's and as you decrease, the stitches come off the needles with little loops that eventually straighten out when you pull the last thread taut. I didn't realize this (since my only other experience with this hat is with black yarn) and thought I had dropped a stitch and picked it up and continued knitting happily along. I'm not sure how the stitches ended up with the correct amount on the needle but here's what the mistake looks like:

Fortunately, the hat is reversible so I turned it inside out and it looks great! It'll just be our little secret though, ok? Shh.

Black and Blue Beannie

My mom showed me an awesome free beannie pattern borrowed from this website (the link to the pattern is on the left). You start at the bottom, rib k2p2 for 9 1/2" then start decreasing until it's done.

I started this beannie with the same blue fleck yarn that I used on the scarf, but discovered I didn't have enough for the whole hat, so Billy suggested to do the rest in black. Progress began like this:

Since I learned how to stripe from the scarf, changing colors was no problem. I used the Red Heart Super Saver worsted acrylic again, which is handy since there is very little variance in gauge and there's a local shop with a ton of different (cheap) colors. Excellent for a beginner, anyway. I'll be branching out with different thickness and textures soon enough.

Here's how it turned out:

I wasn't discouraged, though. The brim obviously rolls up and the whole thing is very warm. I like the adjustable length so if I decide to grow my hair out I have room. Not to mention there's almost no need to swatch because it's a one size fits all (again, pretty much. Obviously changes would need to be made for a child or a baby or a giant).

Here's my happy face (accompanied by the tv):

Sassy Striped Scarf

Behold thy first knitted project; a scarf for my husband.

I got the pattern out of "knitbook: The basics & beyond" which can be found here: http://www.amazon.com/Knitbook-Basics-Editors-at-Landauer/dp/0980068835

The whole thing is in garter stitch, using worsted acrylic yarn (I am allergic to wool) and on size 8 needles. I used Red Heart Super Saver, "Earth and Sky" ID# 0928, "Spa Blue Fleck" ID# 4321, and "Grey Heather" ID# 0400. Also, by now I have weaved in all those horrible tons of hundreds of ends on the picture's right side.

The acrylic and the width makes the whole thing very stiff. So while this is not scarf which will caress Billy's cheek and drape elegantly atop his shoulders, it will protect him from any and all elements while keeping his chin, neck, shoulders, and probably nose warm and dry.

While this was an excellent first project, being rows and rows of the knit stitch, I don't think I could do it exactly the same way again. The rows are spaced apart in such a way that you cannot twist the ends together until you get to the next repeat, but have to cut the yarn after each section of color is ended, resulting in the hundreds and hundreds of ends to be weaved in. The result is that now I am very good at weaving ends, but the whole process took longer than actually knitting the scarf (as you can see by the picture, that it is not exactly a "small" scarf).