New High School and Skydiving
So I had my 'Sociology 101' class tonight. I'm working towards my accounting degree and eventual CPA certificate to not only further my career, but hey, I'll take a class for any reason I just love learning and being educamated.
This has been my very first "collegy" type of class. My other classes (Symphony, Drawing, even Accounting 101) have all fallen on Saturdays and/or evenings so the general mix is usually older people or the rebellious crowd where I'm more or less comfortable.
Sociology is a requirement at the local city college for your General Education which you need for any degree and most classes are transferable to Universities. Therefore, the general mix is regular college students or working moms. Mostly college kids however.
Now, if it isn't painfully obvious, I do not consider myself a part of the general "college kid" stereotype. My parents never forced me to take college, advised me to get a degree, but there was never an assumption that I would get one. In fact, I waited 2 years after graduating high school to start taking 'educational' classes.
There's also the fact that I have been supporting myself since I was 18. I've gotten very successful, especially for someone my age. I'm an accountant at a very well known local CPA Firm. I make a little more than a teacher's regular income with barely any education after high school and at 21 years old. I bought myself a new car without any help (except for the presence of my boyfriend at the dealership so I could keep my head). I consider myself well off financially and, if I chose, would be able to live by myself and support myself, even in Santa Barbara.
That being said.
As was previously stated this is my first "collegy" class. This is my first time since high school where I have been placed in a room with my "peers". Now, this is Santa Barbara, California. Not only are the girls ditsy and confuse 'sexy' with 'desirable', but their parents are putting them through college and "forcing" them to get a degree before they have access to their trust funds. Not only are the guys "cool white rappers" or "Dude I was totally wasted last night" potheads.. but they, too, are being forced by their parents to earn 18 credits of city college before their parents give them access to their trust funds.
People, my "peers" depress me. I feel singled out, alone, defensive. When I feel that way I become aloof. I pretend I am above everyone (ok half pretend, most of the time I feel that way anyhow). I feel I have to compensate for everyone else's shortcomings and be the best because it would be appalling to be confused for one of them.
Unfair? Absolutely. Incorrect? Not so sure.
At any rate it depresses and exhausts me.
Now, after 3 hours of hell, watching the girl next to me alternately flip her hair while staring at her pencil and nodding vigorously at the wrong points in the professors lecture, listening to the guys brag about how drunk they got last night, the slut they were with, saying "dude" every 5 seconds... I felt a little depressed and a little exhausted.
Not to mention the fact that my mentor left work today. I mean that after 8 years (2 of which I worked with him), this morning the boss says "Today is Josh's last day. He will be leaving in an hour. Let's wish him luck!". Josh has held me together during the worst tax season ever and has given me sage advice and gave me someone to genuinely look up to. All of a sudden he's gone forever? It's like mourning, this feeling I'm feeling.
OK so I get home after class. I realize I didn't pick something out of the mailbox, it's a dvd from my mom. From her skydiving lesson a couple weeks ago. I watch it and I can't stop crying. I've never seen her so happy and seeing her happy and be so at home in the sky made me feel safe and like I've never missed anyone in my life as much as her and my family at that moment.
This is going to be a long semester.
This has been my very first "collegy" type of class. My other classes (Symphony, Drawing, even Accounting 101) have all fallen on Saturdays and/or evenings so the general mix is usually older people or the rebellious crowd where I'm more or less comfortable.
Sociology is a requirement at the local city college for your General Education which you need for any degree and most classes are transferable to Universities. Therefore, the general mix is regular college students or working moms. Mostly college kids however.
Now, if it isn't painfully obvious, I do not consider myself a part of the general "college kid" stereotype. My parents never forced me to take college, advised me to get a degree, but there was never an assumption that I would get one. In fact, I waited 2 years after graduating high school to start taking 'educational' classes.
There's also the fact that I have been supporting myself since I was 18. I've gotten very successful, especially for someone my age. I'm an accountant at a very well known local CPA Firm. I make a little more than a teacher's regular income with barely any education after high school and at 21 years old. I bought myself a new car without any help (except for the presence of my boyfriend at the dealership so I could keep my head). I consider myself well off financially and, if I chose, would be able to live by myself and support myself, even in Santa Barbara.
That being said.
As was previously stated this is my first "collegy" class. This is my first time since high school where I have been placed in a room with my "peers". Now, this is Santa Barbara, California. Not only are the girls ditsy and confuse 'sexy' with 'desirable', but their parents are putting them through college and "forcing" them to get a degree before they have access to their trust funds. Not only are the guys "cool white rappers" or "Dude I was totally wasted last night" potheads.. but they, too, are being forced by their parents to earn 18 credits of city college before their parents give them access to their trust funds.
People, my "peers" depress me. I feel singled out, alone, defensive. When I feel that way I become aloof. I pretend I am above everyone (ok half pretend, most of the time I feel that way anyhow). I feel I have to compensate for everyone else's shortcomings and be the best because it would be appalling to be confused for one of them.
Unfair? Absolutely. Incorrect? Not so sure.
At any rate it depresses and exhausts me.
Now, after 3 hours of hell, watching the girl next to me alternately flip her hair while staring at her pencil and nodding vigorously at the wrong points in the professors lecture, listening to the guys brag about how drunk they got last night, the slut they were with, saying "dude" every 5 seconds... I felt a little depressed and a little exhausted.
Not to mention the fact that my mentor left work today. I mean that after 8 years (2 of which I worked with him), this morning the boss says "Today is Josh's last day. He will be leaving in an hour. Let's wish him luck!". Josh has held me together during the worst tax season ever and has given me sage advice and gave me someone to genuinely look up to. All of a sudden he's gone forever? It's like mourning, this feeling I'm feeling.
OK so I get home after class. I realize I didn't pick something out of the mailbox, it's a dvd from my mom. From her skydiving lesson a couple weeks ago. I watch it and I can't stop crying. I've never seen her so happy and seeing her happy and be so at home in the sky made me feel safe and like I've never missed anyone in my life as much as her and my family at that moment.
This is going to be a long semester.
posted by Marika at 10:06 PM
2 Comments:
Sorry to hear that your mentor left--I hope that you will find a way to keep your sanity! I am glad to see you post again after so long though and wish you luck with your class (and dealing with all the stupid people that do indeed plague the SB higher education system).
Anyway, it's been forever since I've talked to ya, and if you're ever feeling up for hanging out and/or going out and taking some pics, let me know! :)
Marika, if I were as together at 21 as you are, I'd probably be ruling the world by now. I felt certifiable at 20/21 (but I probably say "dude" now more than I did then). Then Bryn asked me to be in a band, and that was that. Oh, and I met Emily and she had no patience for my (or anyone else's) stupid crap.
Hope this month's improv goes well/break a leg. Tell my favorite drumming mechanic that I'm still his musical slave. Seriously.
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